Heroic Failure - Chapter 3

But he was still not a patient man and now he was at his wit's end. It had been two days since he had taken the research lab's staff hostage and there was still no payoff.

"Dr. Orvil," Dementor said to the hostage currently hunched over a table of his work. "It out of the kindness of my heart that you are still free to conduct research on the projects that have gone on here for years. But I am not a patient man. Have you finally found a way to make that blasted artifact useful?"

Gregory Orvil, his auburn hair ruffled and still wearing his lab coat, turned to Dementor. "Why should I hurry along for you anyway?"

"Excuse me?" Dementor asked in surprise.

Orvil leaned in close to Dementor, his eyes meeting his. "You and I both know that when I finish my research, the end results being the very reason you came here, that I'm worth nothing to you. And I've already seen what you've done to the other hostages."

"I've told you once and I've told you again," Dementor hissed. "I had no hand in their deaths."

"Then tell me this," Orvil sneered. "Who was able to get into that room, kill off your guards and then start killing the hostages, hmm?"

"Why do you think I've had this lab secured by my best men?" Dementor shouted. "Believe me, if there is some homicidal intruder, he won't get in here."

"You moved all but one of your thugs here?" Orvil questioned. "You don't care if the rest of the hostages are killed?"

"I may be a gentleman, Orvil, thus I would never kill by my hand... but that doesn't mean I have any reason to protect them at the cost of my own life."

"But you saw how this intruder slaughtered your own men... what makes you think any of them can protect you?"

"Oh," Dementor continued, a deep grin covering his face. "That is why I have my new bodyguard, isn't that right?"

And from the shadows a man stepped forth. "Indeed it is, Professor Dementor."

Shego's eyes darted around the hallway and all its doors and back again. "Now, if we were evil super criminals, and we are, where would we hold the hostages?"

"We've never actually taken all that many hostages, now that I think about it," Drakken said quite suddenly.

"What?"

"No, really. Save for that incident at that video game factory, we've never bothered to take hostages. And even then, there were only two to take that time."

Shego sighed. "And what deep and overly philosophical revelation is this supposed to dawn upon me?"

"Not a thing!"

"God, you're so random," Shego said. "Now, again, where would we keep a large number of hostages if we had any?"

"Never gave it any thought, actually," Drakken answered.

"And why does this surprise me? Okay, fine. Where would Dementor keep 'em?"

"That's easy. He's always had a fondness for chaining 'em up and tossing them into a conference hall. And if the building didn't have one, he just left 'em in a hallway or something."

"And you've known that pertinent sort of info and didn't bring it up earlier?"

Drakken said nothing, just looking away. Well, if I had said anything of my own accord, it would have been wrong. That's life.

Shego shook her head and walked off. "Thus ends another episode of wasting time with the Absent-Minded Professor."

Drakken's eyes darted up at Shego at the sound of her voice. He bit his lower lip and slammed his fist into the wall by his side, restraining whatever anger he could.

"What was that?" Shego asked as she turned at the sound of flesh striking metal.

Drakken's face instantly took on an expression of surprise. "Uh, heh, there was a bug."

"Whatever." Shego turned her attention back to the hostages, trying to concentrate on remembering the layout of the lab that Dr. Director had shown her. Oh, I just had to try and memorize it. 'Oh, I can do anything.' Shego shook her head. Of all the catchphrases I could have used off the top of my head, that one just had to be it... Shego's mind wandered, recalling the dozen-or-so fights she had had with Kim Possible. Win or lose, she had always enjoyed them. The thrill of the battle, the joy of finding an opponent that could bring the best out of her and vice-versa. Maybe if we're lucky, little Kimmy will show up and think we're the bad guys. I could use a bit of a workout...

Shego's inner monologue abruptly came to an end when she and Drakken swung open the door's to the research laboratory's conference hall.

"Oh my God," Drakken whispered, aghast at what he saw.

There were several hostages still blindfolded and gagged, chained to the legs of the conference's halls desk. But there was also a pile of them in the room's corner; quiet and still.

"Dementor," Drakken hissed, his mood slowly changing. "That scum--"

"What would he gain by killing them?" Shego whispered.

"Hey!" a voice yelled.

Shego's eyes darted to the right and it was then that she saw one of the gray-clad thugs that Dementor was always known to employ.

"Excuse me a sec, doc," Shego said. "Let me just take care of this."

"Dementor, I need backup!" the thug shouted into his radio. "Anytime no--"

He was cut off as Shego caught him across the face with a jumping kick, knocking him out.

"What is going on?" Dementor's voice shouted through the radio as it hit the floor. "Answer me!"

Drakken picked up the radio. "It's me, old foe."

"Drakken? This lab is mine to ransack! Go find your own!"

"I'm not here to steal anything," Drakken answered.

"Hold on a second," Dementor replied. Several minutes of silence followed. "You idiot, you're off by nearly a week!"

"What?"

"Today is April 6th!"

Drakken shook his head and composed himself. "Oh, this is no joke, Dementor. I'm very disappointed in you, you know."

"What are you taking about?"

"Killing the hostages, of course. First rule of super villainy: hostages are not to be harmed; only arch-nemesis heroes."

"Don't talk down to me!" Dementor shouted. "I know that handbook like the back of my hand! You've never gotten past the first chapter!"

"Yeah, well, at least science gone awry worked out for my looks! Blue is so much better than yellow!"

"Yeah, well, your momma's so fat--"

"Nobody insults Momma Lipsky!" Drakken smashed the radio on the floor.

"Oh, I'm gonna need Advil after listening to that," Shego said, shaking her head. "What were you thinking, letting him know we're here?"

"Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time..."

"Oh, good work, Double-O D! So much for stealth!"

Drakken looked away.

"Let's just free the remaining hostages and go catch Dementor." Shego's hands lit up, encased in emerald energy. Using her clawed gloves, she tore through the chains and then proceeded to take off the blindfolds and gags.

"Oh, thank you, Shego," one of the hostages said, a man in his late-twenties. "We can always count on Team Go."

"What is it with this town?" Drakken cried in the back.

"Is that a new member?" another hostage, this one a middle-aged lady, asked as she saw Drakken.

"Uh, yeah," Shego replied. "That's... uh... Bluego."

The old lady ran up to Drakken and hugged him. "Thank you, kind sir. But, well... you might want to get another color. Blue is Hego's color."

Drakken patted her on the shoulder with much hesitation. "That's... quite all right, miss. And thanks for the tip. Now, uh, all of you, please take the door on the left and follow the hallway until you've gotten out of here."

The hostages began filing out the door and hallway and into the sewers to freedom, leaving Drakken and Shego.

"Oh, that was so beautiful," Shego said coyly, feigning a tear or two.

"Hah hah, very funny," Drakken replied. "Can we talk about more important things, Shego? Dementor never was one to just go and kill hostages..."

"It doesn't make any sense," Shego answered. "And you saw all the hostages we freed. Janitors, errand boys, desk clerks... not a scientist among them."

Drakken looked over the pile of the dead, holding his nose. "Something isn't right..."

"First smart thing you've said all day, Dr. D."

Drakken scowled.

"Well, Orvil," Dementor cackled. "It looks like we won't be needing you anymore."

"What?" Orvil backed away from the mad scientist.

"We won't be needing you to continue your research on a power source any longer," Dementor explained. "Dr. Drakken is here... and with him he has brought the answer to my needs."

"You can't just tie me up and throw me in some closet!" Orvil shouted. "This research is my life!"

"Ah, a man with a love of science!" Dementor beamed. "You impress me, Orvil. But that doesn't change the fact that I don't need your project to be finished any longer--"

"What if I told you I could alter the project to help you in other ways?" Orvil said, cutting Dementor off.

"Well, then you still have some use. Very well, you may continue your work."

"Thank you, Professor Dementor," Orvil said as he returned to his work station.

"Do you really think Orvil can make this project work for us?" Dementor's bodyguard asked.

"Oh yes," Dementor answered. "But for now, I want you to take care of Drakken and Shego. Bring them to me."

"But what about the other intruder? What if he shows up here while I'm away?"

"A chance I'm willing to take. Listen, my friend, you don't become a success without taking risks. Now, please bring me Drakken and Shego."

"Yes, sir." The bodyguard made his way out of the room, heading off to confront Drakken and Shego.

"And just in case you do not succeed..." Dementor signaled for one of his thugs to come over. "Thug #21--"

"The name's David, sir."

"-- Thug #21, I need you go take the hover car and run a little errand for me."

"You know," Drakken said. "It's quite distressing that we still don't even know what was going on at this lab in the first place... You'd think Dr. Director of all people would have some info..."

"Yay for double secret cover-ups and classified information," Shego replied as she made her way down the hall. "This place is more secretive than Area 51--"

"Well, everyone knows what's at Area 51," Drakken spoke up. "And now poor Commodore Puddles is stuck there..." Drakken felt a small tear roll down his face. Oh sure, he never could make time to walk the dog, but he'd loved it so. "Poor Puddles..."

"Well, you're the one who used that ray to turn Puddles into a giant and tried to invade Area 51," Shego reprimanded. "No wonder all those scientists there wanted to perform tests on him."

"We should have rescued him..." Drakken said.

"Oh, I would've if I could've, but you had to go and steal that UFO and end up being abducted by aliens. Do you have any idea how much of a pain it was trying to steal another UFO and go rescue you?"

"A story for another time," Drakken replied. "Just another failure..."

Shego stopped.

"What's wrong?" Drakken asked.

"Someone's coming."

Drakken could hear it to. But it didn't sound like a someone. To him it sounded like a freight train was tearing through wall after wall, heading their way. "What the-- ?"

Drakken was cut off as a figure tore through the wall before him, sending he and Shego flying. They both hit the floor hard, rubble from the demolished wall falling around them.

"Well," a voice said. "I guess I should have expected to run into you when I signed up to be Dementor's right-hand man."

Shego shook her head as she pulled herself up from the floor. Out of her eye she saw something that made her heart stop. A hand encased in a blue glow. She quickly turned and saw the visage of her attacker.

"Hello, sis," Hego said. "Long time no see."