Heroic Failure - Chapter 7

"With all due respect, I don't think we should remove Dr. Drakken from our mailing list."

Dr. Director looked up from her desk at Global Justice's most decorated agent. "Why do you say that, Will?"

"Several reasons," Will replied matter-of-factly. "Let us review the mission objectives... You sent Dr. Drakken and Shego to the lab in Go City with the sole objectives being: the rescue of the hostages, the capture of Professor Dementor and the retrieval of the top secret Go Cannon and the Go Comet. While Drakken and Shego did indeed succeed with the first two, they failed to secure either the Go Cannon or Go Comet. All eyewitness reports say that they destroyed the Go Cannon and Go Comet."

"Yes, yes they did... but how can we be surprised that they did so? As you know, it was Global Justice that set up the Go Cannon project. I was the one who ordered Hego to give me the Go Comet if he wanted Team Go to exist without Global Justice shutting the team down. If Shego learned of that... well, it doesn't surprise me that she'd destroy the Go Cannon and Go Comet."

Will Du was flabbergasted. "How can you be so calm about it?"

Dr. Director leaned back in her chair. "Because I know I would have done the same thing if I were in her shoes."

"All right, all right," said Will Du. "I'll have their address removed from our data banks and have their subscription to Villain's Digest cancelled."

"Before you do that," said Dr. Director. "I want you to deliver something."

"Are you sure about this?"

Shego looked at Hego as they sat in the Go Plane's seats, the vehicle shooting across the ocean. "Yes."

The Go Plane landed at its destination and Shego stepped out of the vehicle, being careful with her healing arm, before looking back at her brother one more time.

"Thank you."

Hego gave his sister one last look and then took off with the Go Plane, heading back to Go City.

Shego watched as the Go Plane disappeared on the horizon. And then she turned back to the island fortress that was the lair of Dr. Drakken. He disappeared that day in Go City and Shego had stayed behind to inform her brothers that they wouldn't have to worry about Orvil. Things were settled with her family at long last, but Shego knew she had to settle things with Drakken now.

Shego took a deep breath and entered the lair.

Dr. Drakken sat alone, hunched over his lab station. He didn't move, he didn't speak, he didn't think. Just the same as he had been since he'd returned from Go City. Alone.

But now his solitude was at an end.

"Dr. D?"

Drakken turned slowly in his chair to find Shego in the doorway. "What do you want?"

"We need to talk."

"Oh, do you want to hear me fail at having a conversation? 'And he and I can do nothing but fail!'"

"You didn't hear the rest of the conversation--"

"Oh, so I failed at that too!"

Shego lost it. "Shut up and listen!"

Drakken took a deep breath and turned back to his lab station. "There's nothing to talk about. Now stop yelling, get out and find a new employer. One who doesn't fail. There's always that Señor Senior, Sr. fellow and his son..."

"Just listen," Shego sighed. "Yes, we haven't had a high track record in victories. But you know what? I told my brother this and I'm going to tell you: I enjoy failing with you more than succeeding without you."

Drakken turned back around. "Yet you don't insult your brothers, but you do insult me."

"I just kid around with you, doc," Shego answered. "I don't mean to make you blue...er."

Drakken stood from his chair to continue. "But you were more than willing to drop me like an old habit and go work for that insufferable buffoon when he went bad! And all because he was more successful!"

"And that was a mistake," answered Shego. "Believe me, that was a mistake. Besides, the 'buffoon,' as you so kindly call him, only went bad after he swapped personalities with you with that Hench Co. device. Technically that was you."

Drakken's eyes suddenly brimmed with hope. "You mean I was evil and successful?"

"Technically," Shego continued. "But don't you get any ideas about installing any shark tanks around here..."

Dr. Drakken's confidence was slowly returning. "Now, Shego... I may be a villain, but I do believe in sidekick rights."

"Speaking of that..." Shego began, the old swing of things at the lair returning to normal. "You wouldn't mind returning that lock of hair of mine?"

Drakken grew timid. "No cloning?"

"No."

"Ah, well," Drakken said as he handed over the lock of hair with little fuss. "One Shego is more than enough to conquer the world."

"You're darn right," Shego answered. "Now--"

Shego was cut off by the sound of a doorbell.

"Company?" Shego asked.

"No, I don't think so," Drakken replied as he made his way to the door. Opening it, Drakken was greeted by a man in a blue jumpsuit.

"Greetings," said the man. "My name is Will Du. I'm from Global Justice."

"Now what do you want us to do?" Drakken asked. "Go save Fort Knox from a man with a disturbing love of hats? To be reborn with a new identity of insane supremacy? To get smart? What? Because I assure you: me and Shego are done with the super hero spy business!"

"That's a shame," replied Will Du. "Because Dr. Director was quite pleased with your level of success. And that is why she wanted me to give you this..."

Will Du brought his hand out from behind his back and handed Dr. Drakken that which he had concealed.

"Commodore Puddles!" Drakken cried as he cradled the dog. "But how?"

"Dr. Director has some connections at Area 51 and had your dog returned to normal and felt that he should be returned to you next."

Drakken didn't know what to say. "Thank you."

Will Du merely nodded his head and headed for his personal jet. And then he was gone.

"Well, isn't this touching?" Shego said as she watched Commodore Puddles lick Drakken across the face. "However, since the dog is back, I think we need to have that talk again..."

Drakken looked to Shego, Commodore Puddles still licking away at his cheek. "I have to walk him?"

"No," Shego replied as she rummaged through the lab station to find the collar and leash from long ago. "We have to walk him."

"You're acting nicer than usual..." Drakken said hesitantly.

"I'm trying."

"Just for old times sake," Drakken said. "Could you be nice enough to be snarky as usual?"

"Fine, fine, fine." Shego shrugged her shoulders. "Either that dog is walked or I'm walking!"

"That's the spirit!" Drakken grabbed the leash and took Commodore Puddles outside the lair.

Shego watched from the doorway as Drakken found himself at Commodore Puddles mercy, being dragged about the lair's property.

"Shego!" Drakken cried, trying desperately to hold onto the leash as he was dragged across the ground. "Help!"

"You can't walk a dog?"

"Less snark, more help!"

Shego suppressed a smile. "I'm coming, Dr. D!"

End.