Size Doesn’t Matter - Page Four

Scene 4 - Middleton High School. Sign reads "Small Schools Are Better Schools
Tomorrow - Let The Big (Mad) Dog Eat"

Kim  and Ron in the school hallway. Kim reaches Ron's navel, or belt.

Ron: Okay, Kim, I'll pick you up after cheerleading practice, OK? Well, actually not pick you up, because of the whole weight thing, but, you know.

Kim: Relax, Ron, I know what you mean! I think.

Bonnie enters.

Bonnie: Hey, K! See you at cheerleading practice later. That is, if you're feeling UP to it! Ha Ha Haaa! Hope you're not coming DOWN with something! Hee Heee!

Kim: Oh, I'll be there, Bonnie! And like we haven't heard those jokes before!

Ron: Yeah! Wait, we haven't heard those jokes before, have we?

Kim: And another thing - I may be only half the girl I was before, but I'm still more than enough cheerleader for you!

Ron: You tell 'er, KP! Hmm, ya know, you're actually more than half, what with weighing the same as before and all. How much is that, anyway? 105? 110?

Kim: Ron, what's with this fixation on my weight?

Ron: Fixation??? Me?!? I'm just making converse, Kimela! Dial down the drama, huh?

Kim: Sorry, Ron! This whole thing has got me really wound up!

Ron: Don't you mean wound down? Sorry.

Kim: Sigh. See you later, Ron.

Ron: Take care.

Montage of midget Kim at school.

Kim walking in crowded hallway, almost getting run over by people who don't see her.

Male classmate: Oops! Sorry, little lady! Didn't see you there!

Kim jumps onto the water fountain to take a drink.

Brick enters.

Brick: Need a lift, Kim?

Kim: No, it's OK, Brick, I got it!

Brick grasps Kim and holds her up to the water fountain.

Brick: Ooff! You're a handful, aintcha! Like one of my weights!

Crowd of schoolkids laughs.

Kim: Ohhh! Nothing could be more embarrassing than this!

Kim in class. Sitting on 4 or 5 phone books.

Barkin: Are those enough phone books, Possible? We have more in the teacher's lounge if you need 'em?

Classmates giggle.

Kim: No, sir, I'm fine! Sighhhh. I had to ask!

Barkin: Okay! So the next chapter...

Time passes (clock moves).

Barkin:...And finally...

Kim's body begins to shake/rumble.

Kim: Oh no! Not here!

Barkin: ...And in conclusion...

Kim: Come on! End it!

Barkin: What was that, Possible?

Kim: Nothing! I just..have to go ..now!

Barkin: You know the policy on bathroom breaks! You'll just have to hold it. Now then, where was I...

Kim: No! I have to..!

Sound effect: BLOOOORRTTT

Class is stunned into silence. Kim shrinks to crotch level.

Classmate: Eewww! Shrinkfart!

Class laughs.

Kim buries her head in her hands.

Kim: Doomed! I am so doomed!


Scene 5 - Drakken's lab. Drakken is experimenting with the doorknob. Drakken, wearing goggles, screws the doorknob onto a door.

Drakken: There, Shego! That should do it! Drakken's Dimensional Doorway should now be operational!

Shego: Drakken's Dimen-what? Why not just call it 3D?

Drakken: It's not 3D, it's...

Shego: Or Triple D?

Drakken: Triple D? Please! It's not some hip-hap artist!

Shego: Hop.

Drakken: What?!

Shego: You said hip hap. It's hip hop!

Drakken: It's..oh, for the..mmph! Shego! Now where was I? Oh, yes! Drakken's Dimensional Doorway! That'll look nice on all my writeups!

Shego: It's a mouthful! Why not just call it the Door?

Drakken: Yes, fine! The Door!

Shego: What's it do?

Drakken: It allows one to travel between dimensions.

Shego: Then why not call it the Dimension Door?

Drakken: But that's what I was calling it, until you...

Shego: Don't blame this on me! It's your silly door! Call it whatever you want!

Drakken: Fine! I will! And it's not silly! With this door, we'll be able to travel thru other dimensions and come out anywhere on Earth!

Shego: Seriously? Anywhere? As in...Fort Knox anywhere?

Drakken: Anywhere! The problem with the door, that my genius fixed, was that, due to the constant shifting of the various dimensions that make up our multiversal reality...

Shego: Multi-wha?

Drakken: Bear with me, Shego! Anyway, one couldn't control where one ended up. But I've fixed that. If you go through that door right now, you will be in Middleton's Central Park!

Shego: Seriously?

Drakken: Seriously.

Shego: Okayyy, Central Park, here I come! Next stop - Fort Knox! Hee hee hee!

Drakken: Mwah ha ha!

Shego walks through door.

Drakken checks his equipment.

Drakken: Yes, Central Park of..15,000 years ago? That's not right.

Shego screams.

Shego: Ahh! Sabre Tooth Tiger!!

Shego runs out the door, uniform trailing tatters, just ahead of a claw.

Sabre Tooth Tiger: Rarrr!

Shego: Drakken, you idiot!! You sent me to a sabre tooth tiger!!!

Drakken: Hee. Calm yourself, Shego. The door is still experiencing a..minor flux. That's all. I simply need to find an anchor and then...

Shego: Fort Knox?

Drakken: Yes. Fort Knox. Acres of gold bars!

Shego: It's ingots!

Drakken: What? I don't got...

Shego: Ingot! Gold ingots! Not bars!

Drakken: Yes. Those too. And then the Doctor will be in...everywhere! Mwah ha ha ha ha!

Shego: Hee hee hee hee hee!

Shego leans in towards Drakken and flashes her claws.

Shego: Better be.

Drakken: Eeep!


Scene 6 - Cheerleading practice. Midget Kim (reaches other cheerleaders' thighs), Bonnie and other cheerleaders in uniform. Ron in costume as the Mad Dog mascot.

Kim: Okay, everybody! Let's do the pyramid!

Cheerleaders tumble, jump and form the pyramid. Kim sails to the top. She lands, spreads her short, stubby legs, wobbles and falls.

Kim: Whoa-whoaaa!

Kim crashes to the floor.

Kim: Ow!

Ron rushes over.

Ron: Are you okay, Kim?

Kim: Only my pride's hurt. It's my balance, my center of gravity! It's totally off!

Bonnie: Maybe you should sit this one out, Kim, until, you know, you recover your form?

Cheerleaders giggle.

Kim: Hilarious as always, Bonnie! But I can do this! It's like getting your sea legs, that's all!

Bonnie: Yeah, if you could SEE your legs!

Kimmunicator beeps.

Kim: Give me a good sitch, Wade!

Wade: Not the good news you were expecting probably, Kim! Drakken stole a dimensional transport device.

Kim: Sounds rad AND bad!

Wade: But I've tracked him to his lair!

Kim: Good going, Wade! Come on, Ron!